The loving kindness (meditation) exercise was closing your
eyes for a minute or two to rest into the natural ease of your body and mind,
and to repeat the following for 10 minutes. May all individuals gain freedom
from suffering, may all individuals find sustained health, happiness, and
wholeness, may I assist all individuals in gaining freedom from suffering, and
may I assist all individuals in findings health, happiness, and wholeness.
The integral assessment had two parts, the first part of the
assessment focused on healing. Closing your eyes and to rest into the ease and
stillness of your body and mind while releasing all mental activity. Then ask,
what aspect of my life is the source of difficulty and
suffering—psychospiritual, biological, interpersonal, or worldly? What is my
current level of development, what development is a main focus at this time,
and what am I aiming for? Second part of the assessment is focusing on
promoting integral development. This is done by re-centering and returning in
stillness and asking, what area of my life is ready for development and growth?
What would the next level of development look like? Is it the same area that
needs healing or another area?
I have chosen to focus on my “awareness of anger.” When I
feel like somebody is not trying in a relationship instead of looking at what
they are not doing, I need to keep calm and focus on what I am doing. I tend to
react and say things I really don’t mean in the heat of the moment.
Understanding is the focus of my growth and development; I need to find out by
asking questions and really listening in my relationships to problem areas
instead of creating more of a problem. Because anger makes you sick with
negative emotions this will affect my health, happiness, and wholeness. I can
practice the loving-kindness exercise and let go of expectations. I can develop
fairness, compassion, and acceptance in my relationships. I can forgive myself,
forgive others, and have love and kindness in my heart through tough
situations.
Reference:
Dacher, E.S. (2006). Integral
Health the Path to Human Flourishing, Basic Health Publications,
Inc: Laguna Beach, CA.
Scott,
ReplyDeleteGreat blog!
Relationships can be hard, but I think the one thing that we all learn eventually is that once the words are out, you can't take them back. Even though the person may understand that it is in the heat of the moment, it was still said.
My husband and I have been married for 19 years now and we have seen lots of things on how to communicate better. Now we ask a lot of questions or simply say "I'm not sure I understand what you mean, could you say it a different way?" This helps keep tempers down and helps us connect to solve any issue we are having. It also helps when you really care about the person, because you usually do not want to hurt that person emotionally.
Good luck on your future practicing of loving kindness.
Christine Faust
Thanks for the advice Christine and the comments!
DeleteHey Scott:
ReplyDeleteYour post was very encouraging. I think the assessment process is very good tool for examining your life. I know many times in the past, I have blamed others for what I now realize was my own fault. If we could all go through the integral assessment process, think how many friendships would be saved. How many marriages would be saved. And think about how much we could learn from each other.
So true Debbie, too bad we are not taught this early on in school. Thanks for the comments.
DeleteScott,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I felt like I was reading something about myself. It was a big awakening when I read that you needed to stop looking at what they are not doing and look at what you are doing, I had many images that ran through my mind in a matter of second of how many relationships I need to do that with. Thank you for sharing and they insight you gave. I know the first step I need to take is to calm myself before reacting. What I am trying now, is when I get into a situation that I know is starting to hit those buttons that make me want to react impulsively, I politely excuse myself from the room and go take a 1 to minute walk, clear my mind and return to the situation much calmer. This seems to be working better then anything else I have tried.
The very best of luck with your journey and it is nice to know that other people are working on they same struggles as I am. It does give a level of comfort.
Julie Couillard
Hey Julie,
DeleteYes, you are not alone and I understand where you are coming from. I wish you the best luck as well.